So the next time after “stop making me look like an asshole” incident, (previous post), my daughter is lying on her side on the bed with her laptop. He’s on the bed laying behind her. Girlfriend is there, too. He reaches over and holds DD by the arm. She tries to move it. He holds it down. So she struggles. He pulls his strength on her and suddenly turns her over toward him, at which point she strikes out and hits him. She nails him in the eye. This, of course, infuriates him. Cuss words go flying, and he grabs her arms with both hands with barely concealed rage. She said she was scared stiff by the look of his face, the curses and the rage squeezed between clenched teeth. We have a long talk about what her options are when she’s with him. I tell her physical retaliation or even defense on her part isn’t a great idea, unless her life is threatened and she has the ability to escape. Should never be first course of action. I tell her she needs to vocalize her discomfort rather than physically struggle, take advantage of the fact that Tabitha is there, … Continue reading
In my work with emotional and verbal abuse I try to avoid labels. I prefer to focus on dynamics of abuse so you can recognize them anywhere, regardless of a person’s psychological status.
However, on this blog, I am referring to a specific kind of parent. Not the normal challenges and conflicts of parenting styles or your run of the mill adult who might be a jerk or hard headed from time to time or even a divorce or split up that resulted in bad feelings.
I am referring to a specific personality type, for lack of a better word, a narcissist, whose main priority is their image, their needs and their entitlements over everything else, including their children.
When you wake up and realize you’re parenting “with” that kind of a person, then it’s a whole new level of nightmare.
Well, you really can’t parent “with” a narcissist – narcissists have no comprehension of teamwork or collaboration. But you may find yourself in the position of trying to raise a child who has a narcissistic parent.
These are the writings of parents attempting to retain some semblance of sanity, as we try to deal with the game playing, gaslighting, manipulating, sabotage, entitlement, self importance, image priority, lying, and verbal abuse of narcissistic fathers or mothers of our children.
If you have a story to share, please email mommawolf07 at gmail dot com. There is power in the telling! Or lend your voice to comments on the posts.
The greatest harm done is in making us feel alone.
We’re not. You need be silent no longer.