Part of the reason I haven’t posted so long is the very reason for this blog. I was just emotionally exhausted from dealing with the narcissistic father of my child, and occupied with trying to make the most of those windows of relative peace. I didn’t want to write about narcissism then! But I do need to write. I really need it for my sanity. It’s so depressing to me that even after the divorce, even after all these years, this man can still be an energy drainer on me. And it’s amazing just how many ways he can find to “get” to me. Just normal situations that most people would never see as an opportunity for control or pot shots are just such opportunities for a narcissist bent on getting a reaction out of you. And even though I’ve gotten much better at giving him no reaction, I still have to deal with the impact within me. You think he’d be happy now. He’s got a girlfriend. That makes me happy, because he is more occupied now. But he still plays his game. And our daughter, unfortunately, still pays for it.
In my work with emotional and verbal abuse I try to avoid labels. I prefer to focus on dynamics of abuse so you can recognize them anywhere, regardless of a person’s psychological status.
However, on this blog, I am referring to a specific kind of parent. Not the normal challenges and conflicts of parenting styles or your run of the mill adult who might be a jerk or hard headed from time to time or even a divorce or split up that resulted in bad feelings.
I am referring to a specific personality type, for lack of a better word, a narcissist, whose main priority is their image, their needs and their entitlements over everything else, including their children.
When you wake up and realize you’re parenting “with” that kind of a person, then it’s a whole new level of nightmare.
Well, you really can’t parent “with” a narcissist – narcissists have no comprehension of teamwork or collaboration. But you may find yourself in the position of trying to raise a child who has a narcissistic parent.
These are the writings of parents attempting to retain some semblance of sanity, as we try to deal with the game playing, gaslighting, manipulating, sabotage, entitlement, self importance, image priority, lying, and verbal abuse of narcissistic fathers or mothers of our children.
If you have a story to share, please email mommawolf07 at gmail dot com. There is power in the telling! Or lend your voice to comments on the posts.
The greatest harm done is in making us feel alone.
We’re not. You need be silent no longer.