Post by Alice: The problem with being involved with a narcissist is that their emotional and mental abuse is very hard to prove. It takes years of documentation – tracking their manipulation and inconsistencies – but we are almost there! Narcissists are experts at manipulating information, time frames, and words, and using one’s rationality for their own subversive means. They almost seem sophisticated because they use the right jargon and they play the systems well. You hear your own arguments coming back at you; only decontextualised and warped in some way or another. You find yourself living in a surrealist world where everything is askew, with parameters and boundaries constantly shifting and then being redefined to meet the narcissist’s requirements. Hence, my user name – Alice – here I am, living in a topsy-turvy world. I am a mum of three kids – S12, D11, D8 who live with me full-time – their father is on the other side of the world. I have been in a relationship with my partner for three and a half years. Both our marriages broke up in 2003 and we spent nearly three years alone in our respective arrangements – me with my three … Continue reading
In my work with emotional and verbal abuse I try to avoid labels. I prefer to focus on dynamics of abuse so you can recognize them anywhere, regardless of a person’s psychological status.
However, on this blog, I am referring to a specific kind of parent. Not the normal challenges and conflicts of parenting styles or your run of the mill adult who might be a jerk or hard headed from time to time or even a divorce or split up that resulted in bad feelings.
I am referring to a specific personality type, for lack of a better word, a narcissist, whose main priority is their image, their needs and their entitlements over everything else, including their children.
When you wake up and realize you’re parenting “with” that kind of a person, then it’s a whole new level of nightmare.
Well, you really can’t parent “with” a narcissist – narcissists have no comprehension of teamwork or collaboration. But you may find yourself in the position of trying to raise a child who has a narcissistic parent.
These are the writings of parents attempting to retain some semblance of sanity, as we try to deal with the game playing, gaslighting, manipulating, sabotage, entitlement, self importance, image priority, lying, and verbal abuse of narcissistic fathers or mothers of our children.
If you have a story to share, please email mommawolf07 at gmail dot com. There is power in the telling! Or lend your voice to comments on the posts.
The greatest harm done is in making us feel alone.
We’re not. You need be silent no longer.