Reason for New Blog

I originally started these articles on another blog, healing-narcissism.com, I have since taken down. Even though the emphasis was on breaking the cycle of narcissism in yet another generation, the URL mocked me. You get a bit cynical when dealing with narcissists.

I have reposted those using their original date of publication. I just feel this is a more accurate URL. All the articles dated up to October 23, 2007, are from the old blog. I haven’t posted much since then, in part, due to emotional exhaustion.

The only “healing” I can be responsible for is my own and to do my best to prevent the cycle of narcissism continuing through my child. But as far as dealing with a narcissistic “partner”, the only thing you can really do is cope to the best of your ability. Even the title of this blog needs clarification.

There is no “with” with a narcissistic individual. There is only “for” or “in service to” or “despite”. Actually, that would be the most accurate description – “PARENTING DESPITE A NARCISSIST”.

But I suppose in the loosest form of the term, “with” meaning some form of presence or area of impact by the narcissist, and not implying any type of collaboration, which narcissists appear incapable of, is, unfortunately, a sad reality many of us find ourselves.

You can make it work, even to your advantage, reaping a wealth of material in knowledge and awareness for you and your child. Of course there’s a price to pay. There always is in dealing with toxic people. But since you’re already paying the tuition, you might as well learn as much as you can.

You can do it.

~PhoenixRising
February 2008

2 Responses to Reason for New Blog

  1. simon says:

    Reading this blog has helped me realise the lengths a narcissist will go to follow their agenda. I have two young daughters their mother left me when the youngest was 3 months old. Since then unless I follow her “rules” and do as she asks I get nothing but constant grief and manipulation. Even enlisting my grandmother has been on her list. I have moved on and since remarried this has only enlarged her hatred. She even goes to the extent of hurting the eldest emotionally in order to get to me. My wife and I try but it seems the system doesn’t listen and because she is a single mother she receives all the support she needs.

    • PhoenixRising says:

      Hi Simon! It’s been like a million years, but I want to welcome you to this blog. I am resurrecting it from a very long sleep. Even when I thought I would before it wasn’t the right time for me.

      My number one priority has always to protect my daughter and writing this blog was not always a safe thing to do. She is now older, fresh out of high school, a young woman and has made some choices that make me feel she has greater safety than before.

      So I will not only work on this blog now, but I’m emerging from the safe shadows of anonymity and connecting this blog with my other human rights activism. This will happen over the following week or so.

      I am very sorry to hear of the difficultly you are going through with your ex and the abuse your oldest child is suffering. But I am, also, glad that your child has at least one parent who is there. I know you may feel helpless in these situations and it is infuriating when you see your child targeted in that way, but that is what makes you all that much more important.

      Listen to your child. Be the one he or she can come to. Give your child words to describe their emotions. Give a name to their feelings. Validate what they are going through. It will not ease the pain of being abused. But it will empower them to deal with it and more, it will impact how they see themselves and what they will tolerate as they get older.

      Good luck and hang in there!

      ~ PhoenixRising

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