Please Read First — Important

(New posts come after below this sticky post)

DISCLAIMER:
THIS BLOG IN NO WAY DISPENSES ADVICE – LEGAL OR OTHERWISE. OPINIONS ARE SHARED AND BELONG TO EACH AUTHOR OR POSTER AND NOT NECESSARILY THE OWNER OF THIS BLOG. THIS BLOG IS OFFERED FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES AND FREEDOM OF SPEECH. READERS AND WRITERS OF THIS BLOG ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW THEY INTERPRET AND/OR ACT UPON ANY PUBLISHED MATERIALS HERE.

Having said that, let me explain a bit further.

Some self help sites are excellent sources of information and support

Individuals are trained and licensed to offer timely professional help. Their approach is more one of objectivity and research based. That would not be me. Some of my insights will be right on. Some will be skewed by my perception and personal biases. I try to be fair, but I don’t claim to be objective, nor am I trained.

Many self help sites are run by well-intentioned people, but some have their own issues

That would be me. I was raised by narcissists and throughout my life surrounded myself by them. That has had an effect on me. This gives me insight from a personal perspective and I may validate some of your experiences and be of help to you, but I have my own issues. You should use discernment in reading my words… for that matter, use discernment in reading anybody’s words.

Some self help sites (not all, but still sadly too many) are run by ill-intentioned people

Yes, narcissists pose online as much as they do in person and will suck the life out of you, abuse and traumatize you there as well. Be careful.

I cannot answer personal email

See disclaimer and #1. I had for a while, but it takes more time, resources, knowledge and wisdom than I have. You’re better off looking to someone else. The email address I have for this blog is for author submission and/or inquiries only. You’d be so much better turning to legal or psychological counsel. Just make sure they know what narcissism is. ASK them.

I’ll do my best to answer author inquiries and approve first comments as timely as possible, but please bear in mind, I’m struggling as much as you and this is not a professional blog – just one woman’s attempt to make sense out of a crazy situation. I have to approve your first comment, but once that’s done, all the other comments will publish automatically.

Thanks for understanding!

~ demian (PhoenixRising)

P.S. all my posts prior to October 1, 2017 were published anonymously by me as PhoenixRising. Please read the post, About: 2017, to learn why I have decided to now post publicly. Still, I ask, that unless you’re a public figure, you post under an assumed name, anonymously, for safety reasons. Stay strong, stay true and stay safe!

If you like this post, please support my work - Demian on Patreon

About PhoenixRising

Singer/songwriter, human rights activist and author of the book series and podcast, "Where There's Smoke: Covert Abuse". Demian Yumei's creative focus is on reclaiming your dream and healing the wounds that prevent that. Her artist activist site: keepingthedream.com
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3 Responses to Please Read First — Important

  1. Survivor says:

    I wanted to thank you for the reading suggestions on the website. I ordered a few from your reading list as well as some others for my children while doing an internet search.

  2. PhoenixRising says:

    You’re welcome! The book on verbal abuse by Patricia Evans is the one that saved my life. And the Betrayal Bond helped me to forgive myself, when I began to understand why I worked so hard to stay with this man, why every assault, my response was to try harder rather than run.

    Not every person who is taken in by a narcissist had a traumatic or bad childhood. People with good childhoods can be swindled by a narcissist, because they just can’t comprehend anyone who says they love them could play such hideous mind games. And they keep giving the abuser the benefit of the doubt.

    But for me, my abusive childhood was a major factor that made me a perfect target.

  3. Survivor says:

    My mother had a narcissistic mother. My mother had a great deal of anxiety and also put me down a lot when I was growing up.That is what was modeled for her in dealing with a daughter. I always thought I had to improve myself not realizing the true issue at hand. With low self esteem, I was the perfect person for my NPD ex who I met at 19. I didn’t realize his put downs were put downs and again thought I needed to improve myself. It wasn’t until my daughter was a baby that I realized what I had gotten myself into. My ex had gotten mad at me and did not acknowledge mother’s day because I was not worthy.In fact I wasn’t spoken to for about 2 months (literally). I was so heartbroken that I went to see a mental health person. She asked me if I realized I was being abused and this was a form of domestic violence. That is when the lightbulb went off in my head. I left my ex 5 years after that trying to hold on for the children.

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