Narcissists aren’t just men

You know, I’ve read that people suffering from narcissistic personality disorder are more often than not men. I’m not convinced of that.

For one, people with NPD are the last people on earth who would willingly allow themselves to be diagnosed. I mean why bother diagnosing perfection? So how would you know?

Maybe there are more men diagnosed with NPD, because more women are willing to seek help, perhaps drag their reluctant spouses/boyfriends in, so male NPD’s wind up in front of a doctor to be analyzed in the first place, where women narcissist are more able to avoid analysis.

Maybe women are just culturally and naturally perceived as empathic. Lack of empathy is hallmark of narcissism. Her empathic behavior (which every good narcissist can step into at the drop of a hat) isn’t questioned, because it’s automatically accepted on face value. She’s less likely to be seen or suspected as a narcissist even if she is.

Narcissists can DO empathy. They know what it looks like. They know how they are supposed to appear attentive, repeat or rephrase what you say, look straight into your eyes and make you feel visible. Many people who first meet a narcissist believe they are a dream come true.

But narcissists don’t know how to BE empathy. A narcissist going through the motions of empathy is actually collecting and storing information for later use, not for relating to, identifying with or connecting.

I just know that in my own experience and from the stories of other victims of narcissism, there’s no shortage of narcissistic women who are just as devoid of empathy and compassion, just as capable of gaslighting or manipulating, just as quick to verbally, emotionally or psychologically abuse someone, and just as incapable of seeing people, including their children, as anything more than objects to be used as narcissistic men.

Narcissism isn’t sex specific. I’d love to believe women are naturally more nurturing. It’s hard not to believe that with the Mother/Child archetype, and I believe it’s an archetype for a reason.

However, unfortunately, that does not translate into some kind of automatic protection from narcissism. Because you know, the mother who eats her young is an archetype too.

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About PhoenixRising

Singer/songwriter, human rights activist and author of the book series and podcast, "Where There's Smoke: Covert Abuse". Demian Yumei's creative focus is on reclaiming your dream and healing the wounds that prevent that. Her artist activist site:
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