Blog Article: How the children of narcissists get conditioned to tolerate narcissists

Excerpt from a thought-provoking post: http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2006/11/how-children-of-narcissists-get.html [The child of a narcissist] will grow up conditioned to think that the greatest sin is having anybody commit one against you… When that child becomes an adult and goes out into the world, he will tolerate narcissists, because he has been conditioned to. The double-standard is so deeply ingrained that this child thinks, “Some people are just that way.” To be a good person, you must tolerate whatever treatment they feel like dishing out to you. …you must seriously consider getting very young children away from a narcissistic spouse. And, if you can’t or decide not to for some reason, you must make sure not to fall into this trap. The main thing is NOT to go into denial. Consider and be aware of the effect it tends to have on your children’s psyche. Counter that effect. Make sure the normal child never … Continue reading

Narcissists are Narcissists

Quote by Sam Vaknin “Narcissists are narcissists. Take them or leave them. Some of them are lovable. Most of them are highly charming and intelligent. The source of the misery of the victims of the narcissist is their disappointment, their disillusionment, their abrupt and tearing and tearful realisation that they fell in love with an ideal of their own making, a phantasm, an illusion, a fata morgana. This ‘waking up’ is traumatic. The narcissist is always the same. It is the victim who changes.”

One Step

There is a lovely little story, “Little One Step” that I used to read to my daughter when she was younger. I find it to be very relevant now and a story can come in very handy when you’re not sure what to say. You never know when a child will feel comfortable or feel the need to share their feelings. My daughter had spent the day playing with her dear friend she hadn’t seen for quite a while. They had gone to a birthday party together, and by all counts, she should have been flying high on the way home. But half way there, she brought up her father. For the sake of creating a context, let me backtrack a bit. When I had picked her up from her father’s a few days ago, she told me that just before I arrived he suddenly brought up her reaction to … Continue reading