Parenting with a Narcissist

How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?

(a) Just one — but he has to wait for the whole world to revolve around him.
(b) None at all — he hires menials for work that’s beneath him.
(c) No need — the sun rises in him.

You know, I’ve read that people suffering from narcissistic personality disorder are more often than not men. I’m not convinced of that.

For one, people with NPD are the last people on earth who would willingly allow themselves to be diagnosed. I mean why bother diagnosing perfection? So how would you know?

Maybe there are more men diagnosed with NPD, because more women are willing to seek help, perhaps drag their reluctant spouses/boyfriends in, so male NPD’s wind up in front of a doctor to be analyzed in the first place, where women narcissist are more able to avoid analysis.

Maybe women are just culturally and naturally perceived as empathic. Lack of empathy is hallmark of narcissism. Her empathic behavior (which every good narcissist can step into at the drop of a hat) isn’t questioned, because it’s automatically accepted on face value. She’s less likely to be seen or suspected as a narcissist even if she is.

Narcissists can DO empathy. They know what it looks like. They know how they are supposed to appear attentive, repeat or rephrase what you say, look straight into your eyes and make you feel visible. Many people who first meet a narcissist believe they are a dream come true.

But narcissists don’t know how to BE empathy. A narcissist going through the motions of empathy is actually collecting and storing information for later use, not for relating to, identifying with or connecting.

I just know that in my own experience and from the stories of other victims of narcissism, there’s no shortage of narcissistic women who are just as devoid of empathy and compassion, just as capable of gaslighting or manipulating, just as quick to verbally, emotionally or psychologically abuse someone, and just as incapable of seeing people, including their children, as anything more than objects to be used as narcissistic men.

Narcissism isn’t sex specific. I’d love to believe women are naturally more nurturing. It’s hard not to believe that with the Mother/Child archetype, and I believe it’s an archetype for a reason.

However, unfortunately, that does not translate into some kind of automatic protection from narcissism. Because you know, the mother who eats her young is an archetype too.

Okay, I believe there’s a REAL need for this blog, but I can’t bring myself to post every day. I’ve thought about just taking this blog off the internet, but I know within my heart of hearts there are mothers out there, and fathers, who really need something like this.

And I need it.

But sometimes, it’s just so hard for me to write here and even read what I’ve written, and then again, I feel like I’m sticking my neck out.

Then I get a comment or two, and I’m inspired, and I no longer feel quite like a doe standing out in the middle of a field in hunting season.

So here’s the thing. I’m opening this blog up for other authors to post. This way you don’t have to wait for me to make a post. You can just make a post on your own. Anyone who has made at least one comment can send me an email stating your interest in being one of the authors of this blog.

mommawolf07 AT gmail.com

Then I’ll grant you posting permission, but to start off I’ll have to preview those. Just want to make sure an angry narcissist doesn’t come here trying to post something nasty. But once I know you, no monitoring will be necessary.

So, PLEASE, step up. I think we can be a real resource for each other. Let’s face it. Being involved with a narcissist is a lonely venture. Raising children with one is even more so.

So that people can comment without constantly needing to be approved and to keep spam down to a minimum, I have made it so that you must register to comment. Only your first comment as a registered user will have to be approved by me. This will prevent spam from being automatically posted.

After being approved the first time, all of your subsequent comments will be published immediately.

Well, I couldn’t wait until this weekend to complete the move over. All the posts that were made at the old blog are now here. I haven’t assigned any tags to them yet, so they’re not searchable in that sense, but I will get to it. The thing is the posts are all on one place now.

If I have internet this weekend, I’ll make sure to make a new post. Take care of yourself…literally.