[Copyright 2007 by PhoenixRising and Another Recovering Target of a Narcissist] Once upon a time there was a bear, a badger, and a raccoon. They all lived in the same neighborhood of caves and burrows. Bear was a commanding presence, taking up a lot of space with both his personality and size. He demanded constant reassurance of how worthy he was, and how well accomplished he was, even though his den was not out of the ordinary (and mostly dug by Badger, anyway) and he slept all winter long. But Bear liked to boast. And because he was rather delusional and half believed his boasting, himself, he managed to convince a lot of people around him that he was something special. The fact was Bear was not only average, which to Bear was unthinkable, he was, also, very lazy and selfish. So truthfully, he was less than average. If it weren’t for the camouflage of his words, people would have not been so impressed with the bear, Bear really was. But no one was more fooled than poor Badger, who was deeply in love with Bear. Or in love with who she thought he was or needed him to be. … Continue reading
In my work with emotional and verbal abuse I try to avoid labels. I prefer to focus on dynamics of abuse so you can recognize them anywhere, regardless of a person’s psychological status.
However, on this blog, I am referring to a specific kind of parent. Not the normal challenges and conflicts of parenting styles or your run of the mill adult who might be a jerk or hard headed from time to time or even a divorce or split up that resulted in bad feelings.
I am referring to a specific personality type, for lack of a better word, a narcissist, whose main priority is their image, their needs and their entitlements over everything else, including their children.
When you wake up and realize you’re parenting “with” that kind of a person, then it’s a whole new level of nightmare.
Well, you really can’t parent “with” a narcissist – narcissists have no comprehension of teamwork or collaboration. But you may find yourself in the position of trying to raise a child who has a narcissistic parent.
These are the writings of parents attempting to retain some semblance of sanity, as we try to deal with the game playing, gaslighting, manipulating, sabotage, entitlement, self importance, image priority, lying, and verbal abuse of narcissistic fathers or mothers of our children.
If you have a story to share, please email mommawolf07 at gmail dot com. There is power in the telling! Or lend your voice to comments on the posts.
The greatest harm done is in making us feel alone.
We’re not. You need be silent no longer.