by tempus_fugit ——————– The one thing that continues to make life unbearable after you’ve escaped the nightmare of a NPD or BPD relationship is the tricks your own mind plays. We become conditioned by our environment to react in certain ways, and in an abusive relationship our mind is in siege mode. This is what your abuser intended, it makes you easier to control. You find yourself doubting your own thoughts, double thinking your gut feelings and being so confused your can’t make decisions, you feel sick to the stomach when you know you have to interact with your abuser. And thanks to Shared Parenting laws, many of us do. It’s taken me three years to become myself again, and the struggle continues. This is how I do it. NLP: Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Guided meditation and relaxation music. Great for taking you out of yourself and forcing you to stop doing things for others for half an hour. For a while I couldn’t sleep without it. Works on a subconscious level so even if you find it silly and feel cynical about the process as I did, the affirmations still implant positive thoughts about yourself into your subconsconscious, helping stop ‘automatic … Continue reading
In my work with emotional and verbal abuse I try to avoid labels. I prefer to focus on dynamics of abuse so you can recognize them anywhere, regardless of a person’s psychological status.
However, on this blog, I am referring to a specific kind of parent. Not the normal challenges and conflicts of parenting styles or your run of the mill adult who might be a jerk or hard headed from time to time or even a divorce or split up that resulted in bad feelings.
I am referring to a specific personality type, for lack of a better word, a narcissist, whose main priority is their image, their needs and their entitlements over everything else, including their children.
When you wake up and realize you’re parenting “with” that kind of a person, then it’s a whole new level of nightmare.
Well, you really can’t parent “with” a narcissist – narcissists have no comprehension of teamwork or collaboration. But you may find yourself in the position of trying to raise a child who has a narcissistic parent.
These are the writings of parents attempting to retain some semblance of sanity, as we try to deal with the game playing, gaslighting, manipulating, sabotage, entitlement, self importance, image priority, lying, and verbal abuse of narcissistic fathers or mothers of our children.
If you have a story to share, please email mommawolf07 at gmail dot com. There is power in the telling! Or lend your voice to comments on the posts.
The greatest harm done is in making us feel alone.
We’re not. You need be silent no longer.