By Reflector “There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves.” ~ Jane Austen On the “precarious” front this week, my daughter’s mother (MDM) called. She wanted to talk, yet she let on as if she hadn’t been served the divorce papers. It was only later that my lawyer informed me she had received them. I therefore had no clue where the conversation was going. I was puzzled by her unusually receptive tone and her considerate, yet pointed questions. In brief MDM wanted to know if I would reconsider the whole divorce decision and seek counselling with her… etc, etc. *sigh* My encounters with MDM require close scrutiny of my motivations. I don’t know which is louder – the external critical parent voice that comes from her, my own or both? As much as I analyze and re-analyze, it’s impossible to come to one hundred percent certainty about another person. As Austen says, “Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised, or a little mistaken.” However, in spite of human limitations, discernment is necessary and one of the … Continue reading
In my work with emotional and verbal abuse I try to avoid labels. I prefer to focus on dynamics of abuse so you can recognize them anywhere, regardless of a person’s psychological status.
However, on this blog, I am referring to a specific kind of parent. Not the normal challenges and conflicts of parenting styles or your run of the mill adult who might be a jerk or hard headed from time to time or even a divorce or split up that resulted in bad feelings.
I am referring to a specific personality type, for lack of a better word, a narcissist, whose main priority is their image, their needs and their entitlements over everything else, including their children.
When you wake up and realize you’re parenting “with” that kind of a person, then it’s a whole new level of nightmare.
Well, you really can’t parent “with” a narcissist – narcissists have no comprehension of teamwork or collaboration. But you may find yourself in the position of trying to raise a child who has a narcissistic parent.
These are the writings of parents attempting to retain some semblance of sanity, as we try to deal with the game playing, gaslighting, manipulating, sabotage, entitlement, self importance, image priority, lying, and verbal abuse of narcissistic fathers or mothers of our children.
If you have a story to share, please email mommawolf07 at gmail dot com. There is power in the telling! Or lend your voice to comments on the posts.
The greatest harm done is in making us feel alone.
We’re not. You need be silent no longer.