Verbal Abuse Defines You

An author stated that verbal abuse is when someone defines you. This is very significant in relation to narcissism. Narcissistic abuse often is covert. Because image and appearance is of utmost importance, most of the abuse meted out by narcissistic people will be under the radar, leaving very deep but invisible wounds. This happens all the time to my dd. Happened to me, too, but what’s significant here is as an adult I had the ability to walk away. A child who has an abusive parent, and does not show signs of physical abuse, is pretty much stuck with that person until they are of legal age to walk away. By that time considerable damage has been done, and even if they do have the ability and desire to walk away, they take the impact of all those invalidating years with them. I find that my most important job as … Continue reading

Where did they go?

She’s at a friend’s house right now. It’s not too often I have time like this to myself, but as usual, I have to leave in a few minutes to do something. I need to help a dear friend who is facing a health challenge. Though I often feel like I run around too much, I do not resent this. I want to be there. I don’t mind being there for something that’s important to me. What I do resent is the draw on my time by the toxic Ex, the narcissist I was so attracted and attached to at one time, and who I now can’t get far enough away from. It’s not that he asks to spend time with me anymore…only intermittently. It’s just that our interactions are very draining to me, and I never know if he’s going to “act up” or if it will be my … Continue reading

Some Bruises Aren’t Black and Blue

Some are invisible. I no longer live with my narcissist (N), my dd has to on a periodic basis. Because she is getting older and developing her own personality apart from his she is starting to see and experience another side to her father. From what I understand, this is what happens with narcissists and their children. While the kids are very young and worshipful, narcissists can get along fabulously with their children. But when they start to grow up and get their own likes and dislikes and become less compliant, more individual, that’s when the honeymoon can end. It can be traumatic for the child. She is beginning to become the target of emotional outbursts and is learning what to say and how to say when she’s around him. She is learning about manipulation, walking on eggshells, how to put on a face, when to censure yourself and how … Continue reading