I don’t even know where to begin. I am currently in the midst of yet another battle with my ex – an “exemplary citizen”, a wolf in sheep clothing. It’s a silent battle, not being verbally played out for all to hear, but it’s a battle nonetheless. Unfortunately our daughter, 13, is being, and has been for a few years now, put in the middle of it and played against me by her father. Joint custody should mean equal say, negotiations when we don’t agree and give and take on both sides. Instead it’s turned into unilateral parenting where I have NO say. Well, I have a say, it’s just not respected whatsoever or twisted to make me look like the mean one. If there’s a disagreement between my daughter and I with arrangements or activities, her father empathizes with her and tells her how hard it was being married to me, so he can’t imagine how tough it must be to be her daughter. He then tells her that she can do what she wants, without worry because he will ‘deal with me’ on her behalf. Dealing with me means just doing what he wants or bringing his wife … Continue reading
In my work with emotional and verbal abuse I try to avoid labels. I prefer to focus on dynamics of abuse so you can recognize them anywhere, regardless of a person’s psychological status.
However, on this blog, I am referring to a specific kind of parent. Not the normal challenges and conflicts of parenting styles or your run of the mill adult who might be a jerk or hard headed from time to time or even a divorce or split up that resulted in bad feelings.
I am referring to a specific personality type, for lack of a better word, a narcissist, whose main priority is their image, their needs and their entitlements over everything else, including their children.
When you wake up and realize you’re parenting “with” that kind of a person, then it’s a whole new level of nightmare.
Well, you really can’t parent “with” a narcissist – narcissists have no comprehension of teamwork or collaboration. But you may find yourself in the position of trying to raise a child who has a narcissistic parent.
These are the writings of parents attempting to retain some semblance of sanity, as we try to deal with the game playing, gaslighting, manipulating, sabotage, entitlement, self importance, image priority, lying, and verbal abuse of narcissistic fathers or mothers of our children.
If you have a story to share, please email mommawolf07 at gmail dot com. There is power in the telling! Or lend your voice to comments on the posts.
The greatest harm done is in making us feel alone.
We’re not. You need be silent no longer.