It Does Get Better

I know you hear this all the time — a lot of times from those who don’t understand, who haven’t been there, who can’t comprehend the depth of toxicity and wrongness of having the other parent of your child personality disordered. Like it’s just a phase you will all grow through, your child, the other parent. Only it’s not a phase. It’s a dynamic — a toxic, poisonous, spirit crushing dynamic. Even without meeting the criteria of clinical narcissism, someone who is “just abusive” or “just a jerk” can wreck so much damage on a child. And now you have this. Not some kind of generational gap or personality clash or the usual conflicts between adolescents and parents or differences in child rearing styles or just someone who has poor parenting techniques. This isn’t something a course on parenting can help or insights from others that can clarify better dynamics … Continue reading

How Do I Teach My Child to Stand Up to the Narcissist Parent?

You don’t. You teach your child to value him or her self. It’s not easy for anyone to stand up to a narcissist, to address them head on, to hold them accountable, to draw the line. Never mind a child, with the narcissist being your parent on top of that. If narcissistic rage is terrifying for an adult, imagine what it’s like for a child. When you teach a child to value himself, you teach him to have a stronger sense of self. When you have a sense of who you are, you know where your boundaries are, where you end and another person begins. Standing up to any violation or trespass of that happens over time if the child has been given enough respect and role modeling on which to build a foundation for something healthier. “Enough” varies from person to person. Personal choice, also, factors into it greatly, … Continue reading

Resurrecting this Blog

Yes, I know I said this before. What’s different? My minor child is no longer a minor. So with that, I feel a certain amount of safety about being able to speak more freely though you can never be too careful in these situations. I do feel a little safer over my child’s safety now they’re legally an adult. We’ve also gone through the darkest part of those tumultuous teen years where genetic and environmental narcissism accentuates and amplifies regular adolescent narcissism. I think we’re seeing the light now. Having gone through that and surviving 18 years of parenting with a narcissist, 13 of them separated/divorced, I’m happy to say I’ve survived and I think I can say I have a few things to share about my journey that may be of help to others. It’s not the end of the journey, but we’ve made the shift from minor child … Continue reading

Resource: One Mom’s Battle

I haven’t had a chance to go through this website yet, but it comes highly recommended, and I didn’t want to wait to post it. http://onemomsbattle.com/ Briefly, this is the story of one woman’s battle in and after divorce with a narcissist. Her name is Tina, and she acts as her own attorney and is an advocate for changing the court system. If you are dealing with legal issues, I imagine you can learn from her expreiences. You can purchase her entire blog in an ebook form or just peruse her site. I see there’s, also, another ebook that may be helpful for those who are getting ready to go into court. I have not read either books, so I can’t tell you if they are good investments or not. Still, I do believe there is valuable information on her blog that can be helpful to those who are in … Continue reading