An Apology and Hopefully Some Changes

Well, it seems like I’m always disappearing and returning and disappearing again. I’m so sorry. This blog is so much harder for me to handle than I would ever have anticipated. These past few months, I had a challenging health situation triggered and then exacerbated by the emotional stress of being a single parent, the current economy and dealing with dysfunctional situations. This last experience made me realize just how “we’re not fooling” my health has become. It was the granddaddy of all chronic fatigue I’ve ever experienced in which I was totally incapacitated for a good long while, and have since been slowly regaining my strength.

If you’ve read through this blog, you may notice that I have had periodic health episodes, both emotional and physical, but this last time totally rocked me. That is no excuse for scaring some dear members, and I thank you, Rae, for inquiring about me. For causing you unwarranted concern I profusely apologize.

When I “checked out” I checked out, and it may sound really bizarre, but just last night when I was trying to get into another email account, I “rediscovered” the one associated with this blog. I TOTALLY forgot about it. That’s how complete my exhaustion and determination to secure a healing space for me had been.

In one sense, incredible. In another…for an incest victim who disassociated to survive…maybe not so incredible.

Anyway, I am back. Wanted you all to know I’m fine…much better than a long time, and feeling stronger each day. I think I can safely resume this blog as a part of my continuous healing journey. However, I will be getting in touch with some longtime members to ask if they would like to monitor the blog for me in case I need to step apart again. I don’t ever want to leave this blog in a lurch again.

Also, I’ve connected the email account associated with this blog to my phone, so I can always receive notification when there’s activity here.

Again, I am sorry for any concern or harm I may have done by my absence, and I thank you for your caring and the generosity of your sharing.

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About PhoenixRising

Singer/songwriter, human rights activist and author of the book series and podcast, "Where There's Smoke: Covert Abuse". Demian Yumei's creative focus is on reclaiming your dream and healing the wounds that prevent that. Her artist activist site:
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3 Responses to An Apology and Hopefully Some Changes

  1. Survivor says:

    No need to worry. I am sorry that good health has been challenging lately. I hope you are on the mend.
    I also seem to have fallen off the face of the earth.The children are with me now for the summer so things are somewhat quiet for the past month. The ex escalated before they came and will escalate when they leave. Any transition seems to energize the ex narcissist. Life will be rough again when they leave in August but everyone seems adjusted and calm now. It is sad that I have to wait for these brief moments in time for peace but it is better than not having it at all.

    Please take care of yourself.

    • PhoenixRising says:

      (*(*Survivor*)*) Thank you so much for your generous and kind heart. This is such a heavy burden, isn’t it? Sometimes I feel like the worst assault by a narcissist…even more than the verbal abuse, the caustic words, the gaslighting, etc…is the wearing-you-down thing which is every bit as much of an assault as anything else: that relentless wearing you down…because when you “co-parent” with one, they will never go away. And they can’t help but be who they are.

      Anyway, I’m sorry you have to go through the escalations with your ex, but I’m glad you know what you’re dealing with and know it’s coming. That’s something! Remember when we didn’t know what was going on and got blindsided over and over again? At least I know I did…

      Cherish every moment with your beautiful kids. I know you do. Please take care of yourself too. <3

  2. Survivor says:

    Thank you. You take care of yourself as well. My goal is to find that inner peace even through the rough times. I think that is what we all strive for. When we feel at peace, it will help our children feel more settled.

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