I found a book that seems to help me focus and give some assist in dealing with people with Personality Disorders:
Say Goodbye to Your PDI (Personality Disordered Individuals): Recognize People Who Make You Miserable and Eliminate Them from Your Life for Good! by Stan Kapuchinski M.D.
I find if I read the suggestions in the book on what to do before I have an encounter with the NPD ex it helps me script out situations so I am not suckered into another emotionally draining situation.
Hopefully this will help you, as well.
Again, thanks for this resource, Survivor. Anything that can lend to supporting us in our daily encounters or reducing those encounters is greatly appreciated!
Comment by PhoenixRising — July 28, 2010 @ 12:21 pm
I will be reading the book tonight again. We had about a month of calm this summer and here the ex goes with the tantrums again accusing the home environment of being unsafe with a list of all the things he wants answered ASAP. Of course this is done through emails because he feels more in control. The kids got used in this one and are pretty angry with him. I figure this is all about sabatoging my anniversary with Mr. Survivor since it fell on the day when this all came down. We all feel we have been hit by a truck. It is all about the ex getting his NS no matter what the cost to the children.
Comment by Survivor — August 10, 2010 @ 8:10 am
So where is the chapter on what to do when they go totally off the deep end and go on a rampage? Survivor’s ex has reached a new low. He pumped the kids for information, twisted what they said and started sending emails to Survivor asking for details on what the kids said. She told him all he needed to know but he wants things spelled out in an email because he is going to try to use it as evidence against her to try to make it so that she doesn’t get any visitation. She told him that if he wanted to know any more he needed to call. He refuses to call, saying that she gets abusive with him on the phone. He keeps sending emails asking the same questions over and over again. She is now ignoring them so he has now threatened to call children and family services on us. He also contacted my ex-wife on FaceBook trying to get information from her.
He is just going totally nuts and doesn’t care who he punishes to get what he wants. The kids are not happy with what he is doing.
More details to come.
Comment by Mr Survivor — August 11, 2010 @ 7:05 pm
More details… we ended up having to contact the police last night. Due to this action, the NPD ex said since I escalated the situation so he is now getting legal counsel along with adding other accusations. I am still trying to figure out how I could have been the one that started this as he has accused. This has created such stress and turmoil in our family. The letter he sent Mr. Survivor’s ex is disturbing. The children have to go back to him next week which is very disheartening to me considering this person’s state of mind. There is a song that Mr. Survior and I listen to called “Hero”. In the lyrics it states we need a hero. Sometimes I wish someone would just come in and save us from this insanity. It is hard not feeling like a victim when this is happening. Our friends and family are just dumbfounded that this is happening because it is so bizarre.
Comment by Survivor — August 12, 2010 @ 8:18 am
Well the dust has settled. We need to realize that the ex is just noise. Now we get ready for the kids transition back to their father for the school year. Time to be strong.
Comment by Survivor — August 16, 2010 @ 8:33 am
I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you…my heart goes out to you, Survivor!…and your kids…Much love and protection.
Comment by PhoenixRising — August 17, 2010 @ 3:39 pm