I am so happy to have found this blog.
I am a father of a three and half year old daughter who i love more than anything. After a six month fling with my daughter’s narcissist mother, who is English, my life has been a surrealist kafkaesque thing for these four years – made more strange by living half of the time in England where my daughter was born.
I have been in court with the mom for two years, and am deeply in debt. The British court supports mothers to an extent that is painful and absurd. The United Kingdom keeps more children from their fathers than any other jurisdiction in the western world.
The four and five month periods in which my daughter’s mother simply would not communicate with me are not only not punished, but condoned to an extent that they are not even acknowledged.
To add to the drama, I have been warned that any criticism of the British court could mean even less contact than the 11 hours a week i am now granted with my daughter. The standard is so low in England, many simply don’t understand my sense of injustice or my concern for my daughter being denied a full relationship with her dad.
The narcissist mom has done everything she can to prevent me from having a real relationship, including keeping my name off of my daughter’s birth certificate, which prevents me from having a visa to live and work in the UK and be close to my daughter.
She puts this pit in my stomach like no one else, just the sense that I will be violated again and again, and i can not walk away because my daughter so badly needs me. I will survive…
I have done so so far, but god it is hard. There is no communication…..no justice….nothing fair….she has charmed the child agency, CAFCASS woman and the parenting assessment woman, to a point that they are condescending toward me and dismissive of my concern the mother has a personality disorder.
She has lied to the court that I have sexually molested my daughter. She just this week fired a nanny because the nanny reported that I am a loving father and that my daughter clearly loves me.
The potential for insanity is all around. What a tricky narrow path! Anger and reaction only complicate and worsen things. How do you accept and work with injustice to make it more livable?
Can someone who has no empathy for other human beings develop empathy?
How can my precious daughter not be harmed by this?
I guess as I have read, things must move in tiny increments. But what a drain to everything I am and was….
How badly I must find myself again…and find ways of protecting myself