Comments on: Please Read First http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/2010/06/12/please-read-first/ Mon, 06 Feb 2012 21:42:38 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Survivor http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/2010/06/12/please-read-first/comment-page-1/#comment-153 Survivor Wed, 23 Jun 2010 14:05:02 +0000 http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/?p=489#comment-153 My mother had a narcissistic mother. My mother had a great deal of anxiety and also put me down a lot when I was growing up.That is what was modeled for her in dealing with a daughter. I always thought I had to improve myself not realizing the true issue at hand. With low self esteem, I was the perfect person for my NPD ex who I met at 19. I didn't realize his put downs were put downs and again thought I needed to improve myself. It wasn't until my daughter was a baby that I realized what I had gotten myself into. My ex had gotten mad at me and did not acknowledge mother's day because I was not worthy.In fact I wasn't spoken to for about 2 months (literally). I was so heartbroken that I went to see a mental health person. She asked me if I realized I was being abused and this was a form of domestic violence. That is when the lightbulb went off in my head. I left my ex 5 years after that trying to hold on for the children. My mother had a narcissistic mother. My mother had a great deal of anxiety and also put me down a lot when I was growing up.That is what was modeled for her in dealing with a daughter. I always thought I had to improve myself not realizing the true issue at hand. With low self esteem, I was the perfect person for my NPD ex who I met at 19. I didn’t realize his put downs were put downs and again thought I needed to improve myself. It wasn’t until my daughter was a baby that I realized what I had gotten myself into. My ex had gotten mad at me and did not acknowledge mother’s day because I was not worthy.In fact I wasn’t spoken to for about 2 months (literally). I was so heartbroken that I went to see a mental health person. She asked me if I realized I was being abused and this was a form of domestic violence. That is when the lightbulb went off in my head. I left my ex 5 years after that trying to hold on for the children.

]]> By: PhoenixRising http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/2010/06/12/please-read-first/comment-page-1/#comment-149 PhoenixRising Wed, 23 Jun 2010 13:47:29 +0000 http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/?p=489#comment-149 You're welcome! The book on verbal abuse by Patricia Evans is the one that saved my life. And the Betrayal Bond helped me to forgive myself, when I began to understand why I worked so hard to stay with this man, why every assault, my response was to try harder rather than run. Not every person who is taken in by a narcissist had a traumatic or bad childhood. People with good childhoods can be swindled by a narcissist, because they just can't comprehend anyone who says they love them could play such hideous mind games. And they keep giving the abuser the benefit of the doubt. But for me, my abusive childhood was a major factor that made me a perfect target. You’re welcome! The book on verbal abuse by Patricia Evans is the one that saved my life. And the Betrayal Bond helped me to forgive myself, when I began to understand why I worked so hard to stay with this man, why every assault, my response was to try harder rather than run.

Not every person who is taken in by a narcissist had a traumatic or bad childhood. People with good childhoods can be swindled by a narcissist, because they just can’t comprehend anyone who says they love them could play such hideous mind games. And they keep giving the abuser the benefit of the doubt.

But for me, my abusive childhood was a major factor that made me a perfect target.

]]> By: Survivor http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/2010/06/12/please-read-first/comment-page-1/#comment-144 Survivor Tue, 22 Jun 2010 16:09:47 +0000 http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/?p=489#comment-144 I wanted to thank you for the reading suggestions on the website. I ordered a few from your reading list as well as some others for my children while doing an internet search. I wanted to thank you for the reading suggestions on the website. I ordered a few from your reading list as well as some others for my children while doing an internet search.

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