Lessons Learned: From Anger to Healing Part 5

(Fifth of a 7 part series)
part 1, 2, 3, 4

by Zack’s Mom

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. ~ Anais Nin

5. This brings up another related point: Get yourself strong.

Go to Al-Anon meetings, go to a therapist, go to the gym if you can afford it, walk around your neighborhood and swing your arms as if you are boxing.

Find or create powerful affirmations and repeat them to yourself. Some of mine are I am strong, healthy and powerful.
I do not have to act out of hatred.
I am bigger than the narcissist. He does not limit my world.

Develop a special outside interest that takes your mind away from the ongoing conflict. Treat yourself well, even if it is in small ways–sitting quietly to drink a cup of tea or looking at photographs from a happy time.

Your narcissist is not all-powerful. He is a puny bully who tries to look large. You must take back your power.

~The therapy I found most useful was EMDR or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, a therapy for trauma survivors. EMDR was the key to addressing the ways in which I was triggered and calming them. There are many other effective therapies, but EMDR saved my life. Through EMDR I was able to identify the parts of myself that get triggered, to give them what they need to feel loved, and in that way to interact with my narcissist without getting “hooked.”

Tomorrow Part 6

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One Response to Lessons Learned: From Anger to Healing Part 5

  1. GarethsMom says:

    I will definately have to look into EMDR. I have never heard of it before, but sounds like it could be very helpful. And the affirmations are an excellent way to combat the subtle lies and character assasinations.

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