by Zack’s Mom
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. ~ Anais Nin
3. Don’t convince yourself that everyone believes him.
I used to think everyone thought my ex was as charming and bright as I once did. But when I met him, I had poor self-esteem and was drawn in by his manipulations.
Not everyone will be drawn in. Over time I have come to see that there are plenty of smart people–at my son’s school, in our circle of friends, and even in “the system” who get his schtick right away.
Not everyone, but enough that I can tell myself he is not as powerful as I once convinced myself he was.
4. Remember that narcissists organize themselves around conflict.
In other words, conflict gives them a focal point for their energies and bullying strategies. If they can provoke you, drag you into court, start a fight, get you going, they will–because it gives them a goal and a project.
It is hard, hard work to get to a place where you are strong enough (and fearless enough) to resist fighting. It is better for you and for your child if you do not. When narcissists are left without conflict, their insecurities eat at them. They will keep upping the ante, trying to get you to take the bait. Don’t do it!
Tomorrow Part 5