Comments on: Lessons Learned: From Anger to Healing Part 1 http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/2010/01/10/lessons-learned-from-anger-to-healing-part-1/ Thu, 29 Jul 2010 14:20:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: bearsmoms http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/2010/01/10/lessons-learned-from-anger-to-healing-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-126 bearsmoms Sat, 03 Apr 2010 01:16:47 +0000 http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/?p=264#comment-126 I'm so pleased to have found your blog. I've been calling "IT" emotional abuse for a number of years until I came upon the term NPD-Narcissist Personality Disorder. I was married to him for 11 years and we have a 12 year old son. He systematically took me apart bit by bit. It's like having your hair pulled out one at a time, eventually you look in the mirror and the girl you once knew is gone. The relief I feel at finding your blog is unreal. I discuss some of these things on my blog located within my website (myheartties.com. After I left him, the courts forced us into joint custody with this man. This is hardest part now. Handing my son over to this animal 50% of the time. I'm ALex's Mom... thank you for writing and making me feel like I'm not alone. :) I’m so pleased to have found your blog.
I’ve been calling “IT” emotional abuse for a number of years until I came upon the term NPD-Narcissist Personality Disorder. I was married to him for 11 years and we have a 12 year old son. He systematically took me apart bit by bit. It’s like having your hair pulled out one at a time, eventually you look in the mirror and the girl you once knew is gone. The relief I feel at finding your blog is unreal. I discuss some of these things on my blog located within my website (myheartties.com. After I left him, the courts forced us into joint custody with this man. This
is hardest part now. Handing my son over to this
animal 50% of the time. I’m ALex’s Mom… thank you for writing and making me feel like I’m not alone. :)

]]> By: PhoenixRising http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/2010/01/10/lessons-learned-from-anger-to-healing-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-101 PhoenixRising Sun, 10 Jan 2010 22:59:45 +0000 http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/?p=264#comment-101 Hi Flamingo. I am SO sorry to hear about what you are going through. There are some shared experiences about custody battles on this site. If you want to do a search on it from the search bar at the top of this blog, you may find some perspectives on custody battles. However, I'm not sure how specifically helpful they will be to you in your situation. I really do need to create a resource page for women who are going through these battles. I'm usually at this blog only intermittently. It's a hard and painful process for me sometimes, and I find myself fatigued a lot - something you so well understand! If we're talking about sex abuse here, then your boys need to get help and support for that. Are they receiving counseling? That may be a support for you in this custody thing. Unfortunately, it's not a given, but it is a step to securing the safety of your sons. Not sure what claiming you "not telling him sooner" has anything to do with anything - especially, when what you would have had to tell him was that he was abusing his kids...if I'm following you. What exactly is his main point in the custody challenge anyway? My two suggestions would be 1) Remain centered, always, especially in court and in front of authorities. Unfortunately, right doesn't make right. Appearances plays a major role. And 2) You need to somehow authenticate your sons stories. Hopefully, they have counselors or documentation of some sort to back them up. You're taking the first and most important step. You know who you're dealing with now. If your support team - lawyer, counselors, also, know, that will further strengthen you. Just calling someone a name isn't helpful though. And may even backfire on you, but your support team needs to really see what he does and how he does it, regardless what label they give him. Educate yourself and get the validation you need so you can validate your children. Good luck! Hi Flamingo. I am SO sorry to hear about what you are going through. There are some shared experiences about custody battles on this site. If you want to do a search on it from the search bar at the top of this blog, you may find some perspectives on custody battles. However, I’m not sure how specifically helpful they will be to you in your situation.

I really do need to create a resource page for women who are going through these battles. I’m usually at this blog only intermittently. It’s a hard and painful process for me sometimes, and I find myself fatigued a lot – something you so well understand!

If we’re talking about sex abuse here, then your boys need to get help and support for that. Are they receiving counseling? That may be a support for you in this custody thing.

Unfortunately, it’s not a given, but it is a step to securing the safety of your sons.

Not sure what claiming you “not telling him sooner” has anything to do with anything – especially, when what you would have had to tell him was that he was abusing his kids…if I’m following you.

What exactly is his main point in the custody challenge anyway?

My two suggestions would be 1) Remain centered, always, especially in court and in front of authorities. Unfortunately, right doesn’t make right. Appearances plays a major role.

And 2) You need to somehow authenticate your sons stories. Hopefully, they have counselors or documentation of some sort to back them up.

You’re taking the first and most important step. You know who you’re dealing with now. If your support team – lawyer, counselors, also, know, that will further strengthen you.

Just calling someone a name isn’t helpful though. And may even backfire on you, but your support team needs to really see what he does and how he does it, regardless what label they give him.

Educate yourself and get the validation you need so you can validate your children.

Good luck!

]]> By: Flamingo http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/2010/01/10/lessons-learned-from-anger-to-healing-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-100 Flamingo Sun, 10 Jan 2010 22:35:07 +0000 http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/?p=264#comment-100 I stumbled on to this site after googling about coparenting, as I prepare for a custody battle with a narcissistic ex who sexually abused my son and has the spin skills to make my son's resulting mental breakdown about my not "telling him sooner". I am at a loss for words as I read others describe MY nightmare. I am happily remarried, but my ex is draining the life out of us. I have heard the term narcissist used to describe my ex before, but never really understood what that meant. Oh wow. Lightbulb moment. I need immediate support to get through a trial to protect my sons aged 13 and 14. Is there anyone here I can bounce off of? I stumbled on to this site after googling about coparenting, as I prepare for a custody battle with a narcissistic ex who sexually abused my son and has the spin skills to make my son’s resulting mental breakdown about my not “telling him sooner”. I am at a loss for words as I read others describe MY nightmare. I am happily remarried, but my ex is draining the life out of us. I have heard the term narcissist used to describe my ex before, but never really understood what that meant. Oh wow. Lightbulb moment. I need immediate support to get through a trial to protect my sons aged 13 and 14. Is there anyone here I can bounce off of?

]]>