“She laughs at all his jokes – even the bad ones, even the ones that are mean toward other people. She laughs at them all.” That’s what my dd said about the Ex’s girlfriend. Don’t we do it? Don’t we start compromising, start denying our own reality a little bit at a time? It’s not uncommon for girls to laugh at jokes that are not funny, especially in the beginning of the relationship. Who hasn’t laughed at a boring joke or smiled with feigned interest, when the reality of the “guy of our dreams” conflicts with the fantasy we had of him? Who hasn’t been a bit reluctant to give up the fantasy? But then reality does set in and we look for something better. But for those who get caught in the web of a narcissist, and don’t leave, the truth of the narcissist doesn’t seem to set in. We keep laughing at boring jokes, and we don’t stop there. We laugh at the mean ones. The ones that go against our principles, our values, our ideals. Maybe we shake our heads or roll our eyes, but we do it with a smile and a “Oh, you cute boys-will-be-boys” … Continue reading
In my work with emotional and verbal abuse I try to avoid labels. I prefer to focus on dynamics of abuse so you can recognize them anywhere, regardless of a person’s psychological status.
However, on this blog, I am referring to a specific kind of parent. Not the normal challenges and conflicts of parenting styles or your run of the mill adult who might be a jerk or hard headed from time to time or even a divorce or split up that resulted in bad feelings.
I am referring to a specific personality type, for lack of a better word, a narcissist, whose main priority is their image, their needs and their entitlements over everything else, including their children.
When you wake up and realize you’re parenting “with” that kind of a person, then it’s a whole new level of nightmare.
Well, you really can’t parent “with” a narcissist – narcissists have no comprehension of teamwork or collaboration. But you may find yourself in the position of trying to raise a child who has a narcissistic parent.
These are the writings of parents attempting to retain some semblance of sanity, as we try to deal with the game playing, gaslighting, manipulating, sabotage, entitlement, self importance, image priority, lying, and verbal abuse of narcissistic fathers or mothers of our children.
If you have a story to share, please email mommawolf07 at gmail dot com. There is power in the telling! Or lend your voice to comments on the posts.
The greatest harm done is in making us feel alone.
We’re not. You need be silent no longer.