Asking for what’s yours

I asked him. Asked if he could pay the balance of his half so I could purchase the resource for DD.

He said, “Do you have it?”

Like, even if I did, why would it be upon me to cover him? But I didn’t, and told him so. I began to tell him what I had already spent this month, and he interrupted and said, “I don’t want to know.”

Well, of course, he doesn’t, because if he did, then he’d realize just how much I am spending on this child and how little he is.

I told him anyway, without complaining, but in a straightforward manner.

The thing is, he does have it. He just didn’t want to give it to me. He said he’d have it tomorrow. Poor guy.

It’s a fine line to walk. But I think being involved with a narcissist, so many women are worn out, that we tend to bite the bullet and just pay the extra costs to avoid the hassle. And sometimes you need to.

But sometimes, you need to take a stand, and not let them get away with having you pay for everything or most of everything. Sometimes, you need to get them to carry a bit of their own load.

Because if you don’t, you’ll carry the whole thing. And they’ll let you. Isn’t that what beasts of burdens are for?

You see, in a narcissist’s life, people are whatever function they serve.

Did he break up with his girlfriend. Heck no. There’s no one to take her place at this time, and her house is in a very convenient location.

I’m not saying he doesn’t have feelings for her. But they take second place to his needs.

You need to look out for yours, too.

Like I said, it’s a fine line, but all that balance you gave yourself walking on eggshells? It will come in handy here.

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2 Responses to Asking for what’s yours

  1. kbcarleton says:

    Mine does the same thing,held on to the tax refund check until it expired but asked me for $30 toward a train ticket for our daughter to go visit his girlfriend’s family! Unbelievable!

  2. PhoenixRising says:

    Oh, that’s amazing! But to a narcissist it makes sense. They’d rather lose money, if it means staying in control, than gain money or put it to good use if it means “giving in”!

    And yeah, I can see him having the nerve to turn around and ask for train ticket money!

    My Ex just informed me the other day he “does not have the money” to pay for his half of our daughter’s classes…not this paycheck or the next. He doesn’t know when.

    Which means, I can forget it, or I can fight him for it…to no avail, and I won’t do that, because not only would it be a waste of time, but he’d like that too much.

    Of course, he expects me to float him, even when he knows I make less than him.

    Sheesh!

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