It’s an entitlement. And it’s always been this way.
I asked him to split an educational cost with me for our daughter. He agreed. He wanted me to go ahead and pay for it up front and he’d give me his share. I knew better.
I told him I had just purchased an additional amount of books for DD, and I didn’t have the extra. This was true.
I hadn’t asked him to cover the book expense. He didn’t volunteer. I only asked that he help cover the larger expense of another item, although, when we split it, it would be less for each of us than what I had spent on the books alone.
So today he gave me the amount his father had offered to contribute, plus what was supposed to be his half of the balance. He was $15.00 short on his end.
“Well, that’s all I have”, he said. And that was it.
With total indifference, he expected me to cover not only my half, but his $15.00 shortage.
No apology. No offer to make up the difference. Just the expectation that I’d cover it.
Because I should understand, it’s all he has. What about that would I not understand?
And I took what he handed me and turned and walked away. Because I’m all too familiar with the fight that could erupt, the emotional tirade, the resentment, the ignorant jabs, all that stuff that I’d rather not deal with. The abuse that is worth paying $15 to avoid.
Tomorrow, I might ask for him to make up for that amount. Then again, I might not. I will have to gauge the weather, his mood, the tone of his voice and the look in his eye. Because, being the target of narcissistic rage, when having the audacity to question a narcissist extracts a great cost from you, it’s just not worth it.
When you’re involved with a narcissist, you’re going to pay one way or the other. Sometimes, it’s better to pay in cash.
The most important thing is my daughter, anyway…and I did finally manage to get her the resources she needed.