She’s not deaf

And she’s not blind.

And do you know how I came to realize what I sounded like, when I was pleading with my Narcissist to stop? When I overheard my oldest daughter pleading with her Narcissist over the phone, when he was raging and threatening to leave her.

And I almost threw up. My heart sank as I realized what kind of a model I had been for her.

Just remember, if you’re raising a child, you’re teaching them not by what you say but what you do. And if you do doormat and disrespect, then that is what your child will learn from you.

Often, teenagers vow they will be nothing like their parents, especially if their parents have issues. I know I did, and I’m sure my own daughter swore she wouldn’t let guys treat her the way she saw me allow my lover to treat me.

But guess what? She grew up and walked in my footsteps in ways she would never have dreamt of and didn’t realize while she was there

So I did a 180…not right away, but eventually I got out of there, and I told her, point blank the mistakes I made, the price I paid and if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t. She was quiet a while. She had bought the whole, “No matter what it takes, no matter what you do, love will win in the end and it will be all right.”

You know, the lies, the heartaches, the betrayal and humiliation, the verbal abuse, the emotional assaults, all that will suddenly be worth it, because the toad of a Narcissist will turn into the prince you know he really is.

Yeah, she bought that. And why not? I was hard selling it to her with every piece of abuse I ate up.

So I took it back. And she was stunned and quiet. Then she thanked me, said she didn’t know that, didn’t realize what I had really gone through, what it had really done.

A couple months later, she filed for divorce. And now she’s with a wonderful person.

I was lucky, damn lucky that my daughter just happened to be receptive at that time. There’s other consequences though on both her and her older brother, that have yet to heal. The impact of a Narcissist in your life and your children is more far reaching than you can ever imagine.

You think you’re brokenhearted now? Wait until you realize just how deeply you hurt your own children, because of what you were willing to put up with. Your children are not deaf and they’re not blind.

And neither can you afford to be.

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