Asking for what’s yours

I asked him. Asked if he could pay the balance of his half so I could purchase the resource for DD. He said, “Do you have it?” Like, even if I did, why would it be upon me to cover him? But I didn’t, and told him so. I began to tell him what I had already spent this month, and he interrupted and said, “I don’t want to know.” Well, of course, he doesn’t, because if he did, then he’d realize just how much I am spending on this child and how little he is. I told him anyway, without complaining, but in a straightforward manner. The thing is, he does have it. He just didn’t want to give it to me. He said he’d have it tomorrow. Poor guy. It’s a fine line to walk. But I think being involved with a narcissist, so many women are worn out, that we tend to bite the bullet and just pay the extra costs to avoid the hassle. And sometimes you need to. But sometimes, you need to take a stand, and not let them get away with having you pay for everything or most of everything. Sometimes, you need … Continue reading

Cover me

It’s an entitlement. And it’s always been this way. I asked him to split an educational cost with me for our daughter. He agreed. He wanted me to go ahead and pay for it up front and he’d give me his share. I knew better. I told him I had just purchased an additional amount of books for DD, and I didn’t have the extra. This was true. I hadn’t asked him to cover the book expense. He didn’t volunteer. I only asked that he help cover the larger expense of another item, although, when we split it, it would be less for each of us than what I had spent on the books alone. So today he gave me the amount his father had offered to contribute, plus what was supposed to be his half of the balance. He was $15.00 short on his end. “Well, that’s all I have”, he said. And that was it. With total indifference, he expected me to cover not only my half, but his $15.00 shortage. No apology. No offer to make up the difference. Just the expectation that I’d cover it. Because I should understand, it’s all he has. What about that … Continue reading

Gracious and Self Serving

“I was happy with you.” That’s what he said. No lie. You see, he had a fight with his girlfriend. She had offended him…actually, his cooking…by making an observation that her child was having a hard time chewing on a piece of meat he had cooked. This of course, meant she really meant to say “You incompetent piece of shit! You cook like crap. You can’t do anything right!!!” Which of course, any normal person could see that right away, and be royally pissed, which he was. And he was going to break up with her. They weren’t going to be together anymore…except they were. I knew that, even though I didn’t care. He was just really mad, and seeing what his options were, testing the waters with me again. “I was happy with you.” We were on the phone, (he called under the pretense to talk about our child) so he couldn’t see me shaking my head. But I’m past the point of getting upset over these kinds of comments. I laughed, reminded him the very thing he said to me was that there was always something with me (like close family dying of cancer – oh, the inconvenience!) … Continue reading

She’s not deaf

And she’s not blind. And do you know how I came to realize what I sounded like, when I was pleading with my Narcissist to stop? When I overheard my oldest daughter pleading with her Narcissist over the phone, when he was raging and threatening to leave her. And I almost threw up. My heart sank as I realized what kind of a model I had been for her. Just remember, if you’re raising a child, you’re teaching them not by what you say but what you do. And if you do doormat and disrespect, then that is what your child will learn from you. Often, teenagers vow they will be nothing like their parents, especially if their parents have issues. I know I did, and I’m sure my own daughter swore she wouldn’t let guys treat her the way she saw me allow my lover to treat me. But guess what? She grew up and walked in my footsteps in ways she would never have dreamt of and didn’t realize while she was there So I did a 180…not right away, but eventually I got out of there, and I told her, point blank the mistakes I made, the … Continue reading

Invitation for Authors

Okay, I believe there’s a REAL need for this blog, but I can’t bring myself to post every day. I’ve thought about just taking this blog off the internet, but I know within my heart of hearts there are mothers out there, and fathers, who really need something like this. And I need it. But sometimes, it’s just so hard for me to write here and even read what I’ve written, and then again, I feel like I’m sticking my neck out. Then I get a comment or two, and I’m inspired, and I no longer feel quite like a doe standing out in the middle of a field in hunting season. So here’s the thing. I’m opening this blog up for other authors to post. This way you don’t have to wait for me to make a post. You can just make a post on your own. Anyone who has made at least one comment can send me an email stating your interest in being one of the authors of this blog. mommawolf07 AT gmail.com Then I’ll grant you posting permission, but to start off I’ll have to preview those. Just want to make sure an angry narcissist doesn’t … Continue reading