Lonely among the mothers

It’s not just the invalidation that is the core of narcissistic abuse that makes you feel alone. It’s the inability of others to see what you’re experiencing, to get what’s happening. I’ve been on lists with very well meaning people – education and homeschooling lists, where from time to time I’ve expressed my frustration in attempting to homeschool my child. There have been times I have even spelled out exactly what was going on, making it so clear his refusal to support or cooperate, no – his intentional choices to sabotage his child’s education. And always…always, there’s several posts suggesting how we could work together. Have you thought about asking…talking…expressing…appealing to…making him realize that…? And I am stunned. It’s all I can do to stop myself from writing back in all caps, HAVE YOU NOT READ A SINGLE WORD I WROTE??? But I don’t. I respond nicely back, thank them for their caring and concern, assure them that I have attempted all those things (AS I STATED IN MY POST) and slowly back out…go back into lurking and getting information pertaining to curriculum or websites or whatever other resources, because help for the parent with an abusive spouse or ex … Continue reading

Are you bitter?

Let’s see….narcissists rob you of your peace of mind, your energy, your sense of vitality and your money. They leave you with exhaustion, frustration and confusion, humiliation and let’s not forget, shame. Narcissists use you, your family and friends with no regard for anything, except how it may impact them. They not only destroy your life, but theirs – and then expect you to save them. Narcissists can turn kindness off and on at the drop of a hat, the flip of a switch, the wrong or right word, the need or agenda. They rob you blind. Today I am thinking about how many of these thieves I have let into my life, have let just suck me dry and then have the arrogance to ask…no, demand my understanding or acquiescence for more. And it’s subtle. Not always in your face, but subtle…most of the time subtle, almost always in the beginning subtle, until they have you and subtlety no longer has a purpose. When you come right down to it, it’s all a lie – whatever good parts of your relationship you thought you had, whatever kindness you thought was there. One day, like the moment in a horror … Continue reading