It’s not just the invalidation that is the core of narcissistic abuse that makes you feel alone. It’s the inability of others to see what you’re experiencing, to get what’s happening. I’ve been on lists with very well meaning people – education and homeschooling lists, where from time to time I’ve expressed my frustration in attempting to homeschool my child. There have been times I have even spelled out exactly what was going on, making it so clear his refusal to support or cooperate, no – his intentional choices to sabotage his child’s education. And always…always, there’s several posts suggesting how we could work together. Have you thought about asking…talking…expressing…appealing to…making him realize that…? And I am stunned. It’s all I can do to stop myself from writing back in all caps, HAVE YOU NOT READ A SINGLE WORD I WROTE??? But I don’t. I respond nicely back, thank them for their caring and concern, assure them that I have attempted all those things (AS I STATED IN MY POST) and slowly back out…go back into lurking and getting information pertaining to curriculum or websites or whatever other resources, because help for the parent with an abusive spouse or ex … Continue reading
In my work with emotional and verbal abuse I try to avoid labels. I prefer to focus on dynamics of abuse so you can recognize them anywhere, regardless of a person’s psychological status.
However, on this blog, I am referring to a specific kind of parent. Not the normal challenges and conflicts of parenting styles or your run of the mill adult who might be a jerk or hard headed from time to time or even a divorce or split up that resulted in bad feelings.
I am referring to a specific personality type, for lack of a better word, a narcissist, whose main priority is their image, their needs and their entitlements over everything else, including their children.
When you wake up and realize you’re parenting “with” that kind of a person, then it’s a whole new level of nightmare.
Well, you really can’t parent “with” a narcissist – narcissists have no comprehension of teamwork or collaboration. But you may find yourself in the position of trying to raise a child who has a narcissistic parent.
These are the writings of parents attempting to retain some semblance of sanity, as we try to deal with the game playing, gaslighting, manipulating, sabotage, entitlement, self importance, image priority, lying, and verbal abuse of narcissistic fathers or mothers of our children.
If you have a story to share, please email mommawolf07 at gmail dot com. There is power in the telling! Or lend your voice to comments on the posts.
The greatest harm done is in making us feel alone.
We’re not. You need be silent no longer.