This doesn’t change with parenthood. It gets worse. This is my most frustrating thing with my Ex. It’s what has opened my eyes over the past few years as to just how serious and how insidiously evil this type of disorder can be.
Because you see, I could almost understand him treating me or any other person this way. But when you see a narcissist treat their own child as their appendage, when you see them sabotage their child’s education or psychologically berate them for offending their grandiose self-image, then you realize just how much they are their entire world and how everybody and everything exists to serve them or reflect them.
It’s enough to drive any sane parent into screaming.
But you can’t. Because if you do…the narcissist will use that as proof positive that you are the insane one, and how abused they are. They like it when you’re beside yourself. (Have you ever seen your narcissist looking at you with an almost imperceptible smug smile on his face in the middle of you losing it?)
That’s when I remind myself, my Ex is wrong. It really isn’t about him. It’s about my child. And somehow I find the strength to remain centered just a little longer. Then it’s me who can smile, if only in my heart.
Because you know, you don’t want your narcissist to believe you are engaging them in anything. It only feeds them, proving to them it really is about them.