I notice that I haven’t been here since February 26th. For my own safety, I have an email account associated with this blog that I do not use for anything else. But I haven’t even checked that account over these past few months, so I never knew of the first time comments that were made and awaiting approval.
This is no excuse, but I have to say…and if you’ve ever been involved with one, I’m sure you would understand…that narcissists are absolutely draining. Life sucking, mind numbing draining. Even when you’re divorced from them…even when you maintain absolutely bare bones minimum contact, because it’s impossible to have no contact.
Sometimes, I feel if I just ignore him, if I just brush him off when he acts his way and pretend everything is all right, then it will be. I don’t want to look at the poison straight in the face. I don’t want to see just how sick this really is…or that my daughter has to spend time with someone like that.
And I want to avoid places like this blog, and I want to just let it all go and be done with it and not go over it again.
But it doesn’t go away, and they don’t stop. They are relentless. Give them a millimeter, and they will take the world.
So I want to apologize to those who have sought some refuge or insight here. I actually have none to give. Just my experiences, just some venting, just some ranting and even some moments of peace. But now that I’ve discovered on this day that there are at least three people who have come by and were moved enough to write, I feel encouraged.
Like I’m not really alone, and I’m not talking in the dark or to myself and that maybe, just maybe, everything will actually be all right.
I have some things to tend to over the weekend, but if I can get internet connection, then I will start to move everything over from the other blog that’s hanging idle in cyber space and start to keep this one current.
I promise, I will not be gone so long this time. I feel less like I’m a lunatic mumbling blindly to herself. I know there are other ears that hear and have similar experiences to share.