Comments on: You think he’d be happy now… http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/2008/02/26/you-think-hed-be-happy-now/ Mon, 06 Feb 2012 21:42:38 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: mydaughtershero http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/2008/02/26/you-think-hed-be-happy-now/comment-page-1/#comment-328 mydaughtershero Fri, 20 May 2011 18:53:27 +0000 http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/2008/02/26/you-think-hed-be-happy-now/#comment-328 Well shoot! At least there is the escape of sports and extracurriculars! My daughter is already telling her dad "When I am older I won't have to come here" and of course he says that's not true. Already we are strategizing how she can be in a sport (even though she doesn't like them!)this summer so she can come back to our town to play even though she's at her dad's. It sounds like you are doing a great job with your daughter! Seems like the more we can talk to them and get them to express themselves (hopefully) the less they will be damaged by these fake, self-centered bullies. Well shoot! At least there is the escape of sports and extracurriculars! My daughter is already telling her dad “When I am older I won’t have to come here” and of course he says that’s not true. Already we are strategizing how she can be in a sport (even though she doesn’t like them!)this summer so she can come back to our town to play even though she’s at her dad’s.
It sounds like you are doing a great job with your daughter! Seems like the more we can talk to them and get them to express themselves (hopefully) the less they will be damaged by these fake, self-centered bullies.

]]> By: PhoenixRising http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/2008/02/26/you-think-hed-be-happy-now/comment-page-1/#comment-327 PhoenixRising Fri, 20 May 2011 10:34:52 +0000 http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/2008/02/26/you-think-hed-be-happy-now/#comment-327 Well....actually, I've learned a bit more since I made that comment. A minor's voice will carry more weight when they are 14...not sure if they can actually petition the court or not - will have to look into that again - but a judge will be more open to hearing their case, however, the other parent has parental rights until the minor turns 18, and they can contest and supersede the child's wishes. So it's not a matter of a 14 year old suddenly having the right to choose where they'll live. Having said that, I have already seen that my child's wishes and her ability to assert herself as a young teenager is holding more sway over her father. She is spending less time with him now than she used to, and it appears that as she gets older, she will be able to do so even more...especially if it means she's doing so because of other social activities. Not necessarily because she's spending more time with me, although that's what it translates to. My daughter is looking forward to turning sixteen. She can't wait to get her license, and a car of her own. It's not a matter of driving around with her friends. It's the freedom, it's knowing she's no longer trapped or incapable of leaving if she needs to. Because I know what this means to her, I will do what I can to help her get her car...though I can barely get one for myself! Well….actually, I’ve learned a bit more since I made that comment. A minor’s voice will carry more weight when they are 14…not sure if they can actually petition the court or not – will have to look into that again – but a judge will be more open to hearing their case, however, the other parent has parental rights until the minor turns 18, and they can contest and supersede the child’s wishes. So it’s not a matter of a 14 year old suddenly having the right to choose where they’ll live.

Having said that, I have already seen that my child’s wishes and her ability to assert herself as a young teenager is holding more sway over her father. She is spending less time with him now than she used to, and it appears that as she gets older, she will be able to do so even more…especially if it means she’s doing so because of other social activities. Not necessarily because she’s spending more time with me, although that’s what it translates to.

My daughter is looking forward to turning sixteen. She can’t wait to get her license, and a car of her own. It’s not a matter of driving around with her friends. It’s the freedom, it’s knowing she’s no longer trapped or incapable of leaving if she needs to. Because I know what this means to her, I will do what I can to help her get her car…though I can barely get one for myself!

]]> By: mydaughtershero http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/2008/02/26/you-think-hed-be-happy-now/comment-page-1/#comment-326 mydaughtershero Thu, 19 May 2011 22:14:52 +0000 http://parentingwithanarcissist.com/2008/02/26/you-think-hed-be-happy-now/#comment-326 I just read this old post....your daughter must be getting close to 14!!! I can't wait to hear if she appeals to the court to live with you full time. God bless you - you are providing me with a wonderful resource in this site as I begin the journey of healing from an 11 year marriage to an NPD and taking on the task of protecting my daughter from him. I just read this old post….your daughter must be getting close to 14!!! I can’t wait to hear if she appeals to the court to live with you full time. God bless you – you are providing me with a wonderful resource in this site as I begin the journey of healing from an 11 year marriage to an NPD and taking on the task of protecting my daughter from him.

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