Okay, so he’s feeling sorry for himself. I made the mistake of suggesting I get her a couple hours early today so I could give her some educational instruction before taking her to dance class, and he emphatically refused. He wasn’t giving up one hour of his time with her, even though it’s Tuesday, and a school day. I could hear him puffing up his chest as he said, “I’ve sacrificed a lot of my time with her for you. You’ve had her a lot…” For me. I’ve had her a lot. Does our child factor anywhere into this? What kind of a world does a narcissist live in? That he can give her up for his own reasons and resent me for helping him out by taking her and then expect her to sacrifice her education to make up for his lost time is beyond me. You know, you have to steel yourself when your ex is a narcissist. There’s no other way. You can’t not have contact with him, because of your child. And you can’t reason with him or expect him to be anything than he is. I had my say with him, but I didn’t lose … Continue reading
In my work with emotional and verbal abuse I try to avoid labels. I prefer to focus on dynamics of abuse so you can recognize them anywhere, regardless of a person’s psychological status.
However, on this blog, I am referring to a specific kind of parent. Not the normal challenges and conflicts of parenting styles or your run of the mill adult who might be a jerk or hard headed from time to time or even a divorce or split up that resulted in bad feelings.
I am referring to a specific personality type, for lack of a better word, a narcissist, whose main priority is their image, their needs and their entitlements over everything else, including their children.
When you wake up and realize you’re parenting “with” that kind of a person, then it’s a whole new level of nightmare.
Well, you really can’t parent “with” a narcissist – narcissists have no comprehension of teamwork or collaboration. But you may find yourself in the position of trying to raise a child who has a narcissistic parent.
These are the writings of parents attempting to retain some semblance of sanity, as we try to deal with the game playing, gaslighting, manipulating, sabotage, entitlement, self importance, image priority, lying, and verbal abuse of narcissistic fathers or mothers of our children.
If you have a story to share, please email mommawolf07 at gmail dot com. There is power in the telling! Or lend your voice to comments on the posts.
The greatest harm done is in making us feel alone.
We’re not. You need be silent no longer.