“Everyone thinks he’s the greatest dad in the world, because when we’re with other people he talks so sweet and kind. But they don’t see what he’s like when we’re alone.”
This hurts her. But at least it hurts her and she knows it – unlike me when I was a child who numbed herself out and grew up into a woman with tunnel vision. She does not believe this is the way it is or shoves it aside. She does not pretend this dichotomy doesn’t exist, blowing up and exaggerating the “good side” into full delusion.
Her awareness of the two faces makes it harder, but it will also make her stronger.
I soothe her pain with empathy and love.