She’s at a friend’s house right now. It’s not too often I have time like this to myself, but as usual, I have to leave in a few minutes to do something. I need to help a dear friend who is facing a health challenge. Though I often feel like I run around too much, I do not resent this. I want to be there. I don’t mind being there for something that’s important to me.
What I do resent is the draw on my time by the toxic Ex, the narcissist I was so attracted and attached to at one time, and who I now can’t get far enough away from. It’s not that he asks to spend time with me anymore…only intermittently. It’s just that our interactions are very draining to me, and I never know if he’s going to “act up” or if it will be my lucky day and all will be civil and fine. And then by his choices regarding our DD, he winds up making so much more work for me…or sabotages what I’ve already done.
Because he has no real regard for reality or truth, I never know what I might get accused of or what shape the latest twisting of facts will take. I suppose I could make a game of it…you know, a predicting game, but I’ve never been a big fan of games. So, why then was I so attracted to such a player?
Well, I supposed I could pick out some reasons, but I swear, sometimes I just wonder where my brains went.